Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Chicken and Moose.

Disclosure one: Our friend Jamie Maurer made this.
Disclosure two: It's really a ploy to make you buy metal sculptures from Metal Imagination.

In my opinion, that doesn't make them any less worth while. They exhibit the same humor and sensibility that's such a wonderful part of the Needs More Gay series that Jamie hosts as Rantasmo.

On the Popularity of Angry Birds

I don't think Angry Birds is popular because of its gameplay. Physics puzzles are a dime a dozen. I think it is popular because there's a profound and inexorable sadness at the heart of the game.

Because, look at those pigs. They've no limbs, and probably suffer from developmental disabilities-- certainly, their facial features exhibit some kind of congenital defect. They took the birds' eggs, but I don't think they understood that they were doing anything wrong; they were just hungry.

The birds swingshot themselves to death attemping to murder these crippled, developmentally-disabled pigs as a form of ultimately pointless and morally ambiguous vengeance. The yellow bird is graphically battered when it collides; the black bird explodes; the white bird drops an egg-- the very reason for their titular emotional state-- as a weapon.

It's not a deep game by any means; it is a bizarre one, though, and one that's very much a product of its time.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Tartar Sauce

Mix the following, more-or-less in order, in a bowl.

  • Enough lemon zest to lightly dust the bottom of the mixing bowl

  • The same amount of green onion, very finely diced

  • x scoops of mayonaisse (do not use Miracle Whip, it is the devil)

  • x-1 scoops of relish

  • Enough Spicey Brown Mustard to give it a slight brown color while mixing

  • A liberal amount of freshly-ground pepper, until the mixture is clearly speckled

  • And sometimes diced bacon, if that's your thing