Monday, June 29, 2009

The Singular Governor Dreyer

Yesterday, I posted a review of Ryan Andrew Balas's film, Carter. A few moments ago, Balas brought my attention to this.

At first glance, it appears to be a re-posting of my review. But once you actually start to read it, it gets a little weird. The first sentence of my review, for example, reads:
Ryan Andrew Balas's film Carter is being touted by its creator as an "experimental narrative", and so, in that spirit, we'll start our consideration of Carter with an experiment.
While the first sentence of the re-posting goes like this:
Ryan Andrew Balas’s dusting Carter is being touted during its God as an “experimental narrative”, and so, in that breath, we’ll start our baksheesh of Carter with an process.
And I said, well, that's weird, someone's gone crazy with a thesaurus and used my review to generate a bunch of gibberish. But then, as I was reading it, I found a few of the passages to be quite amusing. For example:

  • Well, all that is singular, Tom, but what does it on a anecdote on to do with the breach of Carter?
  • A later disagreeable post of Sminch in his underwear emphasizes the inborn ridiculousness of the spear imperturbability, while Carter’s exposed repayment and elongated defoliate legs are attraction incarnate.
  • This is why the singular governor Dreyer insisted on making The Passion of Joan of Arc a accurate unruffled film
  • truly Film is cadence and music is rhythm; when married, the man Friday tends to reel the other, subverting its nuances, perverting its organization, violating its decency.
  • freely and suckle along vs. undecided and backwards
  • And I would prognosticate, over-all, my strongest disparagement of Carter is that there’s so much music and that that music, to my shrewdness, again seems to farm tabulation to the visual elements on the concealment.
  • What a wonderful genesis of the cunning convention of film– how freeing and still how horrid: in the participation of a dusting with no railway station, no article, and no parable is a dusting properly without office in the participation of authorial notice on or shape.
  • She is no manic pixie harmonize.
  • her monologue that irrevocably convinces him that autobiography is merit living.
  • Let’s puke in a pussy-pop to-do and gyrate the climax credits.
  • It is fully and wonderfully eight minutes of continually and interruption, chunk and turbulence, hurl on account of milky digital be unearthed interacting with a cover shackles observable ostentation, cover shackles arms, cover shackles legs.

The topper, however, is this devastating critique of Tyler Perry.
a tonal mishap on sickly with Tyler Perry. truly lowering truly lowering truly


Evan said...

Hey Tom,

This is completely unrelated, but I recently came across your post on "some came running" about the book you think may have belonged to Andrew Sarris. I had Sarris as a professor, and I can tell you that he doesn't check e-mail (his wife and secretary do some of it for him; he even still writes with a typewriter). If you want to contact him, I can give you his mailing address, although I don't want to leave it on a public forum. E-mail me at if you're interested. If anything, it would be nice to verify if you're book is authentic, since it's easily a collector's item.


Arthur Vibert said...

Philip K. Dick wrote a science fiction novel entitled, "Galactic Pot Healer." In it, two of the characters engage in a game in which they take a popular book title, run it through a few translation engines and finally end up back in English. They then challenge their opponent to try and guess the original title. So, for example "The Male Progeny Arises as Well" is "The Sun Also Rises." Sounds like what happened to your review.